Blog Post 4 (Sasha & Astro, Jose’, The Month of May, Turtles)
Sasha and Astro-NEVER Again
I usually change the names in my stories to protect the privacy of those I am writing about but since this story is about dogs I will use their real names.
Like most young couples, Rick and I got our first pet shortly after we got married. She was a Lhasa Apso and we named her Sasha. She was my companion during those long months alone when Rick was deployed. The first few years we had her, we delayed having her spayed, thinking that one day we would like to let her have puppies.
In the summer of 1990, we were living in Charleston, South Carolina and had just bought our first house. We lived on a cul de sac in the back of this nice little quiet neighborhood. People would get out in the late afternoon and walk with their children and pets. It was through one of these walks that we met Bill and Christi, and their dog Astro, who was also a Lhasa Apso. We talked about it and decided that the next time Sasha went into heat, we would try to breed them. Neither of us had experience in breeding dogs, but we figured they would figure it out if we put them together.
Summer came and Rick was sent to an OCS school in Rhode Island for the summer. During his absence, Sasha went into heat. I called Christi and we decided that each day when we got home from work, we would put them in my fenced backyard together and let nature take its course. I left them alone for the most part. Astro was giving it his all but Sasha wasn’t having it. She wanted nothing to do with him. We did this for 3 or 4 afternoons with the same results. We finally decided we would try one more afternoon and then call it quits. Christi brought Astro by and I put both dogs in the backyard. She had to run to the store and left. Thinking this would be like the other days, I got busy outside in the front yard pulling weeds. Neighbors out walking stopped to chat and soon a small group of 8-10 people were standing in our cul de sac talking. Apparently, Sasha and Astro heard us and apparently I hadn’t shut the gate to the backyard all the way. As the group was standing there chatting, everyone got quiet and all eyes turned in the direction of the gate. To my horror, there came Sasha dragging Astro. Apparently, they had done the deed in the backyard and Sasha, upon hearing our voices and feeling she was missing the party, came to check things out. The problem was that they were still “connected”. Children were staring and pointing and asking questions. They were quite concerned about Astro who was being dragged along as Sasha happily walked up to greet everyone. Klaus and Benedicta, our German neighbors (Engineers who worked for Bosch) were observing as though trying to decipher a mathematical equation. Benedicta finally exclaimed in a heavy German accent, “Oh, I see! They are MATING! Interesting!’
I was at first frozen with mortification. My first instinct was to run in the house and hide, but I was the responsible adult. I hate being the responsible adult. All I knew is that I needed to get them back into the backyard. But how? They were still “connected” and looked like one long fluffy dog with a head on each end. Do I pick them up together as a “unit” and put them in the backyard? “No”, I thought, “that is just gross and besides, would it somehow hurt them to do that?” I didn't even know if it was normal for dogs to stay connected after mating, much less how long this could last. Should I call the vet and ask how to unstick them? In the meantime Sasha continued to go around visiting everyone, dragging Astro who didn’t seem to be in any pain. Once I recovered my wits about me and realized I couldn’t run in the house and hide, I began to try to shoo them like chickens towards the back gate in hopes of getting them into the back yard. I heard the neighbors laughing hysterically at my expense. Sasha wasn’t having it. Shameless little hussie didn’t seem bothered by the situation or the fact that she’d just lost her virginity and everyone was witnessing it. I continued to shuffle along behind them trying to shoo them towards the back yard when suddenly they broke free! Oh my Lort, what a relief!
Christie soon returned to pick up Astro and I told her what had happened. I also told her I was done. If we didn’t get puppies from this “union”, there would be none.
I am happy to report that Sasha did become pregnant and delivered just one little healthy puppy. After that, we had her spayed and her sex life was over. We have had several pets through the years and not once have I even considered breeding them.
Jose’
I was working in a middle school as the school nurse in southern California when I met Jose, a 6th grader. One of Jose’s teachers sent him to me for a “hygiene talk”. She had noticed he was unkempt and had extremely bad body odor. On top of this, other students didn’t want to sit beside him or be in the same group. Having a one-on-one hygiene talk is one of the more difficult conversations for school nurses. For some students, it can result in a shrug and admission that they keep forgetting their deodorant, but for others it can be an earth-shattering source of shame and humiliation. I did not typically speak to the student one-on-one unless it happened repeatedly and there was a pattern. Whenever possible, I would try to talk to the whole class so that the student didn’t feel singled out. Body odor is not an uncommon problem in adolescence. Many preteens, especially boys who try to skip the nightly showers and have a hard time remembering deodorant. I had a little spiel that I presented to these classes during these hygiene talks with quite a bit of light hearted humor thrown in. Thereafter, students would often run in my office in a panic asking for deodorant when they had forgotten theirs at home or they didn’t have any at home. Sometimes these talks would open the door for students to come to me and tell me when there was no shampoo, soap, detergent or even running water. Many had no washing machine or even quarters for the laundromat.
Jose’s teacher however, felt there might be more going on with him than missed showers and forgotten deodorant and asked me to speak with him privately. As I brought him in, I noticed his clothes were dirty and there was definitely a smell. He was quiet and nervous about being brought into my office. Once he became comfortable with me, he admitted that his Dad had abandoned the family, they were homeless and that they had been sleeping in a park. He began to cry because his mother had told him that if anyone found out their situation, Jose and his little brother would be removed from their Mom and might never see each other again.
When school got out that afternoon, Jose’s mother was waiting for him just outside the door. The principal, school counselor and I asked her to come inside for a talk. As we sat down and asked her about her situation, she broke into heartbreaking sobs. She had moved to the US with the boys’ Dad from Mexico a few months earlier for work, however about three weeks ago he left the family for another woman and had not come back. She did not know where he was. She had been evicted and took what she and the boys could carry from the one room apartment. She did not know anyone, didn’t speak English and had no phone or money. They had been getting their meals at the homeless shelter but had only spent one night there and she vowed never to go back. On that one night at the shelter, as she and the boys slept on the pallet on the floor with all the other homeless in a big room, an old man got up and began stumbling around. He then stood over them and urinated all over them, apparently confused and thinking he was in the bathroom. After that, the three of them had bedded down each night under the picnic table in the park. They had washed as best they could, including their clothes in the public restroom at the park. Amazingly, the student and his brother had not missed one assignment during these weeks of homelessness. She had sat them down at the picnic table each night before it got too dark and made them do their homework.
Unfortunately, it is a frequent occurence in the schools to encounter homeless children. The reasons are different for each child that ends up in that situation, but the results are the same...fear, hunger, embarassment and insecurity. We see them from every race and nationality. Sometimes homelessness is the result of bad parental choices, sometimes it is just bad luck and sometimes it is because the adult wasn’t prepared by their own parent for independence. Often, the cycle repeats itself, with the children being the victims.
The key to eradicating homelessness is multi faceted and very complicated and it is not as simple as “get a job” or “go back where you came from”. More stories to come about this in future blog entries.
The Month of May
Our son Zachary was a free spirit growing up. He was not much of a worrier and just drifted through each day thinking about not much more than video games, movies and desserts. We pushed him hard in school because he was intelligent and had a lot of potential. He kept his grades up, not because he was on fire for learning, but because he didn’t want to lose his gaming and TV privileges.
It was late June, the summer after Zack’s junior year. I got the mail from the mailbox and saw the letter from the school containing his last report card for the year. Back when I was a kid, report cards came home with the student on the last day of school. Now they mail them a couple weeks after school gets out for summer.
I held my breath as I opened the letter, hoping this year would be different. At the beginning of each school year, his momentum was slow, then his Dad and I would light a fire under his behind and his grades would be good for the remainder of the school year with an occasional reminder…until May. At the end of every year his grades tanked for those last weeks of the school year, essentially blowing what he had worked for all year. I stood there in the driveway furious as I scanned his last set of grades for the school year. I just couldn’t understand.. I marched in the house and confronted him. “Zachary Nicholas”, I said, “It’s happened again! You blew your GPA by doing so poorly during this last six weeks. What is happening? Why is this happening?” Was there some deep and complicated reason for this? It couldn’t be the teachers or classes because the same thing had happened since middle school, regardless of the teachers or classes he was taking. Zack was a quiet kid and not prone to talk,especially about his feelings, unless and until he was in the mood which didn’t happen often. I sat him down at the table for an eyeball to eyeball heart to heart. I was angry, confused and exasperated. I was also dreading telling his Dad when he got home from work. There would be storm clouds over the Johnson house tonight! Before that though, I had to get to the bottom of the reason for this, no matter how complicated it might be. I began to probe and ask all kinds of questions. He sat there looking at me impatiently and fidgeting, clearly thinking about his video game upstairs. Finally, he looked at me and said simply, “Mom, it’s because it’s May” like I should clearly understand what he was telling me by just that one sentence. I looked at him blankly and he explained further. “Mom”, he said, “May is my birthday month. I always take off the month of May since it’s my birthday month”. He looked at me like that should clear every thing up. I was shocked and stunned into silence.
We still laugh every May about it being his birthday month. I even threatened to write his Captain a letter when he was in the Navy asking if my son could continue with his tradition of taking off his birthday month and be exempt from his duties onboard ship during the month of May. Zack is 31 now and has turned out to be a fine young man-a hard worker, a good husband and a wonderful father. I am sad to report, however, that he no longer gets to take off his birthday month. Adulting is hard!
Zack unintentionally provided many entertaining stories which I will share in my blog (with his permission of course).
A Shout Out To Turtles
I was recently at my daughter and son in law’s house in Charleston. Their development is surrounded by a marsh which is a government protected wetland, and is filled with all of the critters that live there, like turtles, frogs and gators.
Late in the afternoon on the day I arrived, Alyssa saw movement outside in her freshly mulched flower bed. There was a good sized turtle burrowing in the mulch. We figured it was a girl turtle and she was looking for a place to lay her eggs. It is egg laying season for them right now. After trying unsuccessfully to get some answers on what to do with Myrtle the Turtle, we decided to take her down to a spillway that led to the marsh and release her. We had read that some turtles lay hundreds of eggs and the last thing Alyssa wanted was baby turtles all over her yard. We also read that after laying and burying her eggs, the female turtle will leave them. She doesn’t wait for them to hatch and has no role in raising them. Baby turtles are completely independent from the moment they hatch!
A couple days later another turtle showed up but this time she laid 4 eggs before Alyssa could move her. As she was relocating Myrtle the Turtle the 2nd, two crows came and dug up the eggs and ate two of them. By the next morning, although Alyssa had put a barrier over the “nest”, the crows had returned and managed to retrieve and eat the other two eggs.
Through this experience we learned a few things about turtles::
When assisting turtles to cross the road, assist them in the direction they are headed. They know where they are going and what they are headed toward.
Do not relocate a turtle to a “better place”. They have small home territories and should be left where they are found. If moved from their home territory, they may not survive
Do not keep turtles found in the wild as pets
Call a wildlife rehabilitation center for advice when an injured turtle is found
When rescuing an injured turtle, note where it was found so that it can be returned to that spot once it is recovered
Baby turtles should also be returned from where they came, not moved or kept as pets
Keep household pets and other animals away from turtles to protect them when they wander into your yard
That’s all til next time. feel free to follow this blog and to leave a comment with feedback.
